I’d like to spin a tale about my friend Scott Johnson, the protocol sergeant here at Baghdad International Airport. This is a true story.
Now, while I’m out trying to get the scoop for news stories, Scott is stuck in the main headquarters building handling all the important people that come through. We get everything from general officers to congressional delegates through here because this is basically the only airport for Baghdad run by the U.S. military. Scott works protocol here as a special duty. He’s a nuclear missile maintainer by trade out of Vandenberg Air Force Base, Calif. Like most maintenance guys, he’s got a foul mouth and sarcastic demeanor – a perfect first impression to every distinguished visitor that comes through here. But honestly, he is very good at the protocol role – very diplomatic. It is probably because of his diplomacy that he’s gathered quite a collection of military coins since he’s been here. (In the military, every high-ranking officer have personal coins with their insignia they give to people who perform well.) However, there is something Scott wanted more than coins.
We had a conversation back in July about how cool it would be to get a miniature T barrier as a gift. A life-size T barrier is a giant concrete slab that makes up a portion of a wall. They are about 12 feet high and six feet wide. They’re placed around most work environments to mitigate rocket blast when we’re attacked by mortars and rockets. The miniature T barriers are like a paperweight leadership gives out here for excellence. It was something we often saw leadership give out, but they didn’t quite make it down to us NCOs in the Glass House.
One day recently, however, the former commander of the medical squadron, Colonel Balserak, came by to see me with two of the small T barriers in his hand. He gave one to me as a parting gift for writing stories on his unit. The other he asked me to give to Chief Hatzinger, our superintendent. I had scored a barrier, and I couldn’t wait to produce my prize in front of Scott.
“Check it out Scott!” I said with amusement as I showed him my T barrier. “Colonel Balserak gave it to me.” Scott just shook his head in irritation and walked away. It didn’t help that I was chuckling at him. Later that night, Scott was playing a game of cribbage with Hatzinger. I then remembered I had to give the chief his T barrier that Balserak dropped off. I remember feeling fortunate to see Scott’s reaction again. As I put it on the chief’s desk, I told him I got one too. The chief’s face lit up. “That’s great! Did you get one Scott?” “Nope,” he answered curtly. “Well, who else got one?” asked the chief. Scott answered “Well, both the colonels, the captain, Sergeant Bailey, Sergeant Wicke and you chief; essentially, everyone in the headquarters but protocol.” The chief looked disappointed. “He didn’t give one to you and Lieutenant Hatcher?” “No” said Scott, “but it’s okay because I’m over it now.”
The next day though, Scott got a message to go see Balserak in his office. Scott assumed the chief pressured the colonel into giving him a T barrier. After an awkward wait outside the colonel’s office, Balserak finally approached Scott. Scott stood and shook his hand. “What can I do for you?” said the colonel. “Captain McGath said you had something for me?” asked Scott. “Hmm … No.” answered Colonel Baslerak in thoughtful pause. The situation was becoming more awkward every second because, through this brief conversation, the colonel would not let go of Scott’s hand. He continued to shake it. Finally, after awkward silence, the colonel said “Oh yes! I know what this is about. Wait here.” He retreated into his office and returned with a T barrier.
“Give this to Lieutenant Hatcher for me, would you?” I wish I could have been there to see Scott’s face!
Needless to say, Scott wasn’t pleased over being called over to deliver the T barrier for someone else. And after a little misunderstanding, it turned out Balserak had gotten one for Scott too. He had given it to Colonel Czzowitz, our deputy commander, who was holding on to it until he saw Scott. We’re still not sure if he arranged that little meeting for Scott on purpose though. Czzowitz just laughs when we ask him and replies with a negative.
