Humility: such a slippery virtue

I have a long way to go.

We, here, are suffering through one of the most challenging times in the military: A change-of-command ceremony. I know this sounds ridiculous considering we are living in Baghdad, Iraq. But something peculiar happens when a new boss comes in – no matter where you are. It makes middle management overreact to every little thing. And when middle management suffers stress, we all do.

Because of this ceremony I found how serious my vice of pride really is.

I can’t help but feel middle management places a load on the workers when they want to impress the big boss. They make promises and commit to jobs that won’t affect their day-to-day work, but it loads up a burden for us. It’s quite an insecure feeling actually – to watch someone load up your schedule who doesn’t know what’s already on it.

Here’s what happened. I was at my desk enhancing some photos and the captain comes up to me and said, “Hey Flash (my nick name), go grab the colonel’s body armor, ammo and helmet and load it into the truck – get mine too while you’re at it.” For the whole day I was pulled from my duties to meet little demands like these. Frequent interruption is painful to me. I began grumbling to myself, “Where’s the protocol guys? This is their job.”

I didn’t notice my problem until the final interruption. Later that night the outgoing boss was out-processing the base, which involves paperwork. The official duty day ends at 7 p.m. and I was at my desk focusing on my homework. At about 9:20 p.m., the captain came to me again and said “I want you to take the colonel’s paperwork up to the admin office and complete his out processing.”

Although I didn’t say anything to him, I was angry. The time I have here for homework is irregular and limited. I felt he was invading on my time, in order to have me do a demeaning task.

But under the anxiety, I started examining myself. I thought, “Isn’t service like this what our whole philosophy as Christians stands for? Why do I have such a problem with what is asked of me? Instead of jumping on the opportunity to “wash feet” when it comes, I get angry at being interrupted.” Jesus was interrupted frequently.

Even more convicting is this: the man I was being asked to serve is actually my better in all areas: age, rank, education, experience and income. Even the captain surpasses me in all these. If I struggle serving those above me, how can I expect to do as the Lord commanded, and serve those under me?

In my self defense, I began recalling past times where I served people I “outranked” socially, without internal protest. This resulted in my horror.