I wept hard today.

I just completed my first full 24 hours in Baghdad, Iraq, and already I’ve attended my first memorial service here, honoring a fellow Airman who was killed Monday.

He died while driving in a convoy, hit by an improvised explosive device, or IED. The IEDs are usually big bombs hidden or buried in the road set off by remote control, cell phone, pressure sensor, or the like. The majority of U.S. deaths in Iraq are from this type of bomb.

Though I don’t know him (yet) I look up to this man who we honored today. I heard his story. Staff Sgt. Self volunteered to come to Iraq, so when his unit commander asked him if he was sure, his reply was simply, yes. He told his commander “God is my savior and we can’t control when we die.” His flight sergeant also quoted him saying, “If it’s your time, it’s your time.” His peers and chief lauded him as a person who feared God. He died living out in action what he said in words.

The bugler played taps. After this they played a bagpipe version of Amazing Grace, and when the music stopped his flight sergeant stood up and began to call out names. These were the names of the people in Sgt. Self’s flight. After each name came the reply “Here Sergeant.” Finally, he called out, “Sgt. Self.”

Nothing.

Again, “Staff Sgt. Self!”

Only silence.

A third time he cried out, “STAFF SGT. JOHN T SELF!”

This time there was an answer, though not the voice of Sgt. Self: Outside the honor guard shot their rifles in response.

I am in tears now, again, as I write this – not for John Self, he is with Christ. I weep for his family, who must be mourning in a way I do not know. However, the tears I shed for Sgt. Self are happy tears, because he has reached the goal. His team members said Sgt. Self believed in what he was doing here. He was here to serve God first and try to make Iraq better.

As far as I’m concerned, there is no better way to die.